


Unsent Letters

by Kawaii_strawberry



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/M, Fluff, Indirect confession, Love Confessions, Love Letters, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, mostly Seteth POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 08:41:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28348590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kawaii_strawberry/pseuds/Kawaii_strawberry
Summary: A bundle of unsent letters addressed to Seteth were found. Only trying to do the right thing, the person who found them delivered them to him. However those letters were never actually meant to see his eyes.AKA Byleth does that thing where you write a letter to someone and never send it to get your emotions out, but somehow those letters find their way to Seteth who then can't help himself from reading them all.
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth/Seteth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	1. Letters Found

Byleth pressed the seal to the hot wax, closing up another letter. As she waited for the wax to cool she packed up a few belongings into her bag. A couple of textbooks and the outline for the next day’s lesson that she had been working on. It was late now and the sun had already set, so she supposed it was time to leave her office and head back to her room for the night. After the wax had sealed she picked up the letter and added it to a stack of other letters tied together and tossed it into her pouch as she left.

\-----

Lindardt, terrible sleep schedule as he had, was out on another of his midnight strolls. The monastery was so peaceful at night and there wasn’t ever anyone there to bother him. This _might_ be a part of the reason he was so tired all the time, but it was worth it for him to have those moments of peace. On tonight’s walk he happened upon a small bundle of letters tied together in a stack. Picking it up he noticed the green wax seals closing each of the letters (darn, he wouldn’t be able to be nosy and peek inside), and flipping the stack over saw on the front of the top letter who it was marked for. Deciding to take it upon himself to deliver the lost letters, he walked off with the found bundle to drop them off.

\-----

That morning was just like any other for Seteth. He always woke relatively early, wanting to make the most out of each day. He started his days with an early morning practice in the training grounds. Usually this early only those who were most dedicated to their practice would be there. No one was seeing the likes of Hilda here. Actually now that he thought about it he wasn’t sure if he had _ever_ seen Hilda here even during scheduled class training. He would have to follow up on that later. 

This morning was much like the others as Seteth went through his routine. Practicing blows with a wooden lance against a training dummy, he felt his own sweat coating his skin and hair, letting out a grunt as he landed another hit on it. Just because he wasn’t regularly going into battle anymore didn’t mean he had the luxury to not keep up with his skills. Seteth relaxed his stance, taking a step back and catching his breath when he heard a voice from behind him. 

“Here.” The woman spoke plainly. Seteth turned to see the newest professor standing behind him, looking like her own work out had been just as intense as his. She stood there, a small towel around her neck, in ragged practice clothes consisting of a brown tank top that almost looked sack-like and shorts similar to those that she normally wore. Her bangs were still sticking to her forehead, but it seemed she had finished up a little before him as she was holding out an extra cup of water for him. 

“Professor.” Seteth nodded in greeting to her, taking the cup from her hand. “Thank you.” He gave her a smile before taking a gulp of the water, which felt so refreshing in that moment. Finishing it up he looked at the professor and wondered if maybe she had pushed herself a little too hard in today’s exercise, as she was looking a little more red in the face than he was used to seeing her look. 

“You’re good at that.” Byleth nodded toward the training dummy. “I’d like it if you could show me some of your lance techniques sometime.” Her words were usually pretty flat, but something about the way she said that felt even more stiff than usual. Seteth tried to pay it no mind as he responded.

“Absolutely. Yes, let’s plan a time to train together soon.” He smiled in response, moving on from the conversation to put away his training weapon. He never really knew how to just hold a conversation with Byleth outside of giving updates about the ongoings of the church or talking about her class. Other than those topics, she just seemed so quiet, and he presumed long conversations weren’t something she was too fond of considering she always tried to get out of them as quickly as possible.

Regardless, Seteth continued with his daily routine. He washed up quickly in the monastery bath house, again usually finding it to be rather empty this early in the morning. He liked it that way, he wouldn’t want any of the students, or _goddess forbid Hanneman,_ seeing anything they shouldn’t have seen about him while he washed up. After cleaning up and getting presentable for the day Seteth would then go have breakfast with his daughter, have a morning meeting with Rhea to go over the plans for the day, and then head to his office. All of that went according to plan just like any other day today, until he got to his office.

Seteth reached into his pocket for the key to his office, but looking down noticed a small bundle on the ground in front of the door. Kneeling down he picked it up, examining it to be a stack of letters addressed to him, though they did not say who they were from on the outside. This was a small change in his routine, but even the smallest change could set him off into a state of worry depending on how it went. He wasn’t expecting any mail, and with how many letters were here in this stack he wondered anxiously about what could be inside. They were unaddressed except for his name written in script on the front of each envelope. Were they threats? Had someone found out his secret? How long were these sitting out here for? He snatched up the letters and fumbled for a moment to finish unlocking the door, entering and then quickly locking the door again behind him. He took a breath before swiftly walking to his desk to look more into the mysterious letters.

Seteth decided to start with the letter on top. Best to read them in order after all, if they are even connected that is. Cracking the seal, the letter unfolded to reveal a handwriting he didn’t recognize. The script wasn’t masterfully done, but looking at it he could tell it was practiced. As if the person who wrote this letter had taken their time to have it look as well as they could make it. Starting at the top, the letter itself was addressed to him.

> _Seteth,_
> 
> _Hello. How is it I’ve written this letter over five times and still I can’t figure out how to start it? The ones where I’ve messed up have kept me warm tonight as I burned them in my fireplace. It just feels so embarrassing to… write this down? By writing it, it makes it feel real. I guess that’s the point though, isn’t it? It’s not like you’re ever going to read this so I guess it doesn’t matter so much how embarrassing it is. My father always talked about writing to help figure out your emotions. He told me to write a journal, but I’ve also heard that it can be helpful to write a letter and never send it when your emotions have so much to do with one person. So anyways, that’s what I’m trying to do now. I’m writing a letter to Seteth the hand of Archbishop Rhea. I’m writing a letter so I can say all of the things that I want to say that I can’t make myself say when I’m actually with him. With you? I guess I should actually write this like a letter considering that’s the whole point. Have I messed up too much already? I feel like this is bad._
> 
> _No, I’ve restarted this so many times already. I just need to get it out. I need to just write it, it’s not like I’m actually going to give this to him. He’s never going to read this so it doesn’t matter. This is for me. And if it works, then hey! Maybe I can actually tell him some of these things! Okay, pushing through this. I’m going to keep writing now._
> 
> _Seteth. Hello. Goddess, just trying to greet him in paper feels so hard. I KNOW I’m not actually saying anything to him. He’s not even near me. I’m just sitting in my office by myself trying to- Okay okay, I’m sitting in my office with SOTHIS (there, are you happy you little creature? She wanted to say hi too.), and I’m trying to write about my emotions._
> 
> _Great, now I’ve filled up the whole page and I haven’t even written anything about what I wanted to say. I’ve been trying to get this out so much and I can’t find the words for any of it. I’m going to try again tomorrow. So, Mr. dream imaginary pretend Seteth, I hope you have a good night. You will hear from me again when I try this another time._
> 
> _\- Byleth_

  
  


Seteth stared at the paper, mostly in confusion. The Professor? He felt his guts turn inside of him. This was for him, but _clearly_ this was not meant to be read by him. What did she mean about Sothis being there with her? Brushing past that, what was she even trying to say to him? He knew he shouldn’t look more. That would be such an invasion of privacy. Still as Seteth bit his lip and glanced over toward the rest of the stack of letters he couldn’t help but wonder. And with that curiosity he couldn’t stop himself from reaching over and grabbing the next one. He decided he would just read enough to figure out what she was trying to say to him. Could she have figured something out? He and Flayn could be in danger after all! He knew he didn’t trust her from the beginning, maybe this was why? But realistically, Seteth knew those were all weak excuses he was making to himself in his head to justify cracking the seal of the next letter. By now he fully trusted the new professor, and even had multiple conversations with her trying to get to know her more and understand her better. There was none of that previous harshness he once had for her. Still, he pretended his excuse made sense as he opened the next letter.

> _Seteth,_
> 
> _Hello. I told you I would be back, see! Sothis has_ _not_ _stopped teasing me about that other letter since last night. I can tell she’s looking over my shoulder now as I write this even though I TOLD her to let me do this one by myself! Okay, she’s gone now… where was I? Oh right, getting nowhere. How could I forget?_
> 
> _Maybe if I stop trying to make this pretty and just come out with it that will make it easier to understand later? I… guess I’ll try that. But just like last time it’s like my body is fighting me from trying to get these words out. Like it won’t let the feeling escape. If I let it out that could make it more real. That would make me have to actually face it. To acknowledge it as a fact and not keep lying to myself. But if I let it out I’d have to actually face the fear that comes along with it. What if… See writing that is hard too! I can’t say the things I’m scared of because then I feel like it makes those more real too._
> 
> _I’m new to all of this. I’ve never_ _felt_ _things before. I’ve never really been a person before. I’ve always felt so disconnected from everyone around me. And it’s not just because I grew up surrounded by a bunch of mercenaries, though I guess that could be a part of it too. I never related to other girls, I never really had any friends my age. We were always on the move from place to place from early as I could remember. Is it strange that I miss that now though? It’s complicated. I wouldn’t give that up for anything, but I also could never give up my life here. I don’t think I could ever go back to that. I feel… I’m around people now. I’m connecting with them. I feel like I’ve found my place._
> 
> _Ah well… That doesn’t really have anything to do with what I feel about Seteth, does it? I’m not even really sure where that came from. I’m just letting the thoughts come to me and writing them down as I do. It does feel a little bit easier today._
> 
> _Well I didn’t say what I wanted to yet, but I would say this letter was a success. Imaginary dream Seteth, this is your Byleth signing off again. I will write to you again tomorrow. Maybe then it will be easier to get more out._
> 
> _\- Byleth_

Seteth finished up the second letter, feeling more confused than he did with the first one. Again confused by the mentions of Sothis, again confused about what the professor was trying to say to him. Though he did feel a surprising happiness to gain that bit of insight to her life. To learn even a bit more about her upbringing and her feelings about things brought Seteth a strange joy. As he thought about it now he realized that she had never really talked about how she _felt_ about those things in their previous conversations. She talked about fighting from a young age, she talked about life with Jeralt and some of the uncertainties in her life. But she talked about them in a literal way, like she was just acknowledging factual things, never how she felt about those things. Seteth felt like kicking himself for being so rude as to never have asked her more about that back then. And… what did she mean by “your Byleth” at the end there? 

“There’s only one way to find out…” Seteth spoke quietly to himself as he reached for the next letter in the stack.

> _Seteth,_
> 
> _Hello. Again. I hope your day has been pleasant. You seemed stressed today. I guess you always seem stressed though, don’t you? I wish you would relax sometime. I’m not sure if you know it, but I see how much you work. How_ _hard_ _you work. ALL the time. You really do so much. You deserve a break. You deserve to rest. You push yourself to work so hard all the time and it is impressive, but I can see how tired you are inside. I wish I could… get to know more of what’s inside of you. I wish I could ask you questions and learn about your life. I wish we could both relax together. We should do that sometime._
> 
> _I… Today’s letter is short. I don’t think I can write more like that. I will try again tomorrow. Talk to you then._
> 
> _\- Yours, Byleth_

Seteth was confused in more ways than one. Not just by the things written in these letters now, but also confused about something else he was feeling. He felt a sort of softness inside reading that last letter that he himself felt too worried to acknowledge. He didn’t even think of it now when he instinctively reached for the next letter. He was about to crack the next seal when there was a knock on his door, pulling him out of the sort of trance-like state he had been in while reading Byleth’s letters. He swallowed the lump in his throat he felt from being caught in the act, speaking up.

“One minute.” He called to the door, opening a drawer in his desk and shoving all of the letters into it as quickly as he could. He would have to return them. Yes, for sure. But he wasn’t sure if he could stop himself from reading more of them before that. He knew it was wrong. These were meant to be private, and he of all people knew how important one’s privacy was. But they _were_ for him after all. He struggled to get the thoughts out of his mind as he got up, unlocking the office door to greet whomever was waiting for him outside. 

It was just the choir instructor, coming to ask him some questions about the organization of their next performance. This was quite literally his job, but it all felt so unimportant right now. The rest of the day continued as any other day would. Seteth followed his schedule to a tee, but rather than feeling accomplished with the day’s tasks he only felt disappointed that he couldn’t make it back to his secret letters.


	2. Letters Read

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The outcome of the letters

The next morning Seteth awoke at his normal time. His day  _ should  _ have been like any other, but he woke up with an anticipation for the day that he could not recall the last time he felt. He managed to not completely skip over his morning routine and head straight for his office, instead going to the sparring area as he normally would. Though he couldn’t help but admit a large part of that was for the chance to see the professor. Not like he would say anything about those letters at all- he didn’t even know what he would say about them right now if he were given the chance. Still he felt such an intense curiosity that just made him want to be around the woman more. 

Maybe today’s work out wasn’t the best he had ever done, but it didn’t bother him. He knew it was because he kept getting distracted watching her. He decided to return the previous day’s favor, this time greeting her with some cold water as she finished up her own training.

“Ahem-” Seteth cleared his throat, holding out the cup of water toward the professor. 

“Oh- ?” The woman’s gentle voice speaked out, her wide eyes looking from the cup in his hand, to his face, off to the side, and then back at the drink. Seteth waited a moment before nudging the cup in an offer to her again. “Right.” She acknowledged like she was training not just her body but her mind now too. It was practiced in a way. She took the cup quickly, but the feeling of her hands brushing against his felt so slow at the same time. “Thank you.” She mumbled before drinking the water. Seteth couldn’t help but think the poor girl seemed terrified by everything about this interaction. Maybe he had understood the letters wrong? She said that she wanted to talk to him and get to know him more but maybe there was something else to it. He wasn’t sure, but it just gave him all the more reason to keep reading the letters to get to what she was actually trying to say in them. 

“Yes.” Seteth nodded politely in response. “I wanted to thank you for yesterday.” Byleth’s big eyes peeked over the edge of her cup as she drank more of the water, listening to Seteth. “Do you mind if I ask you a question?” The words came out as he was thinking them, he spoke his thoughts out loud unable to stop himself. 

“Okay.” Byleth gave one of her usual one word responses, looking down at the now empty cup in her hands. Seteth could see the way she couldn’t keep eye contact, he knew she was uncomfortable in a way, but he already asked the question so he had to at least finish it. He gestured toward the racks on the side of the arena and asked his question of her as the two of them walked over to return their wooden training weapons.

“I always see you out here so early. It isn’t like you are out of practice, and you are one of the most skilled commanders in all of Garreg Mach, so I don’t think you need the extra training. Why do you still push yourself so much harder than you need to every day?” Seteth asked, but as the words came out he couldn’t help but think of the parallels of his question to the last letter he read from her. Byleth looked at him with a sort of surprise on her face when he finished, like no one had ever asked something like that of her before. Or maybe like she didn’t recognize her own talent. He wasn’t sure. 

“Well…” the woman started, raising her hand to her cheek as she thought through how she wanted to respond to the question. Even if it took her a little longer, Seteth was glad to hear a response from her that would be more than a couple of words. “I need to be stronger. I can’t let any of my students get hurt.” She said it in a way as if she had seen that happen countless times already- but her students were fine. They had never come home from a battle with any more than a couple of scrapes and bruises, so clearly she had done a great job taking care of them until this point. It was part of the reason that Seteth was comfortable with letting Flayn join her class when she asked him about it. Before Seteth could question that she spoke again. “And I guess I’m just used to it. I used to train in the mornings with my father and the mercenaries before we came here.” Byleth’s expression softened as she remembered those times. 

“I see.” Seteth nodded, his head flooding with too many thoughts to organize. “Well if I don’t see you again today, I hope you have a good day Professor.” The two of them hung their training weapons up. “And I’ll talk to you again tomorrow.” Seteth finished, smiling at her. As he walked away he mentally scolded himself for sounding too much like the farewell of Byleth’s private letters. Her face looked so red as he was leaving. He wondered if she knew the letters were missing yet. If he had tipped off too much that he had read some of them. Though the conversation may have partially been stirred by the letters, he did genuinely mean it. If Byleth was going to be around it would be important to get to know her, but it wasn’t like he didn’t trust her. Not now after everything they had been through and what she had done for him and Flayn. But he still didn’t feel like he knew enough about her. Reading the letters only made him want to know more. Seteth tried to remove the thoughts from his head, knowing that another day awaited him. The rest of his morning went as planned, washing up, breakfast with Flayn, his meeting with Rhea. though he  _ might _ have slightly over exaggerated the amount of paperwork he had to work on today so he could have more time alone in his office. 

\-----

Sitting down at his desk again, Seteth carefully opened the drawer he had previously shoved the letters into. Feeling bad about how badly he had treated them in his panic, he straightened out the papers and neatly folded the ones he had already read and stacked them into a nice pile separate from the others. He then picked up the next one, cracking open the green seal was a moment he had been looking forward to since the previous day.

> _ Seteth, _
> 
> _ Hello. To be honest, I feel stressed. I wish… I wish I could talk to a real person. A real you. It’s just hard to do that. I watched it happen again today. I’m so thankful for the power of Sothis. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have her to help me. To help them. I don’t think I’m fit to be a professor here. I know I said I felt like I found my place, but what if I’m not good enough for my place? I need to keep training, I need to get stronger. I can’t let everyone down again.  _
> 
> _ I need to keep trying. I know this has nothing to do with anything. This isn’t what I wanted to say to you. But it is in a way? I want to talk to you about these things. I want to talk to you about a lot of things though. I don’t think I’m ready to actually talk to you about  _ _ that _ _ yet, considering I still can’t even write it down- but maybe I’ll try to just talk to you. The real you I mean. Like dream Seteth, you’re great and all, but you aren’t real. I’m scared to say it because I will make it real, but I want it to be real so badly.  _
> 
> _ Maybe if I can get over writing it I’ll be able to say it. I’ll talk to you again tomorrow. Both of dream you and real you (I hope), _
> 
> _ \- Yours, Byleth _

Seteth folded close another letter and added it to the pile of those he had read. He wasn’t sure what she was going on about, or what she saw. It made him remember that look she had this morning. Just what was going on with her? She clearly had a desire to be stronger and to protect others, but couldn’t she see how well she had been doing that already? Still, reading another letter from her Seteth could only think about how she usually spoke in one or two word responses in person. She obviously had so much more she wanted to say, she just struggled to get it out. He knew that now. And he knew she wasn’t a hopeless case, even just asking her more direct questions got her talking more. He hoped he could ask her more things soon. And he felt all the more curious about what she wanted to say that she couldn’t.

> _ Seteth, _
> 
> _ I’m sorry I haven’t written for a while. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry about everything that’s happening. It was so sudden. I want to tell you how scared I am too. But I can’t, I need to be strong for you. I’m the one who's supposed to find Flayn for you after all.  _
> 
> _ I can see how much you’re hurting. I see it and I want to help. I want to be there for you. I want to hold you and tell you it’s going to be okay, your little sister will be safe. But to be completely honest I’m terrified. Who could do something like this? Who could hurt such a sweet innocent girl like her? It doesn’t matter who they are, whoever it is will pay for what they’ve done. I’m going to find her and bring her back to you. How I feel about you and what I want to say to you doesn’t matter right now. You are a family and you are hurting. I can tell you both have felt loss before, and I won’t let either of you feel it again.  _
> 
> _ I know you are worried out of your mind Seteth. More than you ever have been before. I would be feeling the same if any of my students were taken from me like this. I know I would. Please just take care of yourself right now. Please don’t hurt too much, this will all be over soon. I will be back with her in no time and you will be reunited and everything will be okay and I will look after her myself from now on as much as I can.  _
> 
> _ These are the things I want to tell you right now. I think it would help you to hear these things, so I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to get any of it out when we actually talked. I tried, I just… couldn’t. I’m here for you though. We all are. It breaks me apart to see you like this and to not know about her safety kills me even more. I’m going to fix this for you. I promise. _
> 
> _ \- Yours, Byleth _

Seteth felt the emotion of that time come back to him for a moment. He took a deep breath, knowing that the professor kept her promise and so much more from back then. Flayn was back and safer than ever being a part of Byleth’s class. He knew this. But still thinking of the way she vanished from right under him always gave him so much panic even to this day. He could never thank the professor enough for what she did for them. And even after this time had passed, he still felt comforted in a way knowing what Byleth wanted to say to him in those moments. He reached over for the next letter in the stack.

> _ Seteth, _
> 
> _ It’s okay. I got her. I’m feeling pretty exhausted right now, I literally just got back from it all but I have to do this right now because I have so many thoughts and feelings and things I want to say to you both. But Flayn needs her rest, and so do you too, I think. I don’t think you’ve slept a single night since she went missing. Your eyes are so dark and your body looks so weary. Have you been eating? Shit- I should have asked you this in person. I can help you more. I can be there for you.  _
> 
> _ Flayn is okay though. Manuela is okay. And this other student Monica, I never met her before but she’s safe too. I’m glad I had my class with me to fight off this death knight and save them all. I don’t know who those people are or what their goal truly was, but we’re going to find it out. And you and Flayn won’t have to worry any more, you two just be safe and take care of eachother right now.  _
> 
> _ I keep thinking about the absolute relief on your face when I brought her to you. You looked like you were going to break right then and there. I’m sorry that all I could do was just stand there and watch. I just felt so frozen. I’ve never had anyone that I’ve wanted to help and protect and be there for so much before. I feel that way about my students too, but with you it’s different. I don’t know why it is or why it happened. Sothis told me… Well I already knew what she told me. I guess even though I couldn’t say it or write it, it still became real anyways. I know how I feel even if I’ve never felt it like this before.  _
> 
> _ Please don’t feel like you are alone. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help. I remember Flayn talked about liking a particular kind of fish. I think I’ll make it up for you both tomorrow. Maybe if I can’t  _ _ say _ _ things to you I can at least try and  _ _ show _ _ you how I feel. _
> 
> _ \- Yours, Byleth _

Seteth felt his chest pounding as he continued to read the letters. She was right of course, with Flayn missing everything had fallen apart for Seteth. He couldn’t remember how much he ate or slept during that time, but he knew there wasn’t much of either. And that warm cooked fish dinner that Byleth had prepared for himself and Flayn the next day was the first full meal he had had since his daughter’s disappearance. It was also part of the inspiration behind the fishing tournament in Flayn’s honor the next month, as the meal was all she could talk about after that night. He remembered her saying how much it tasted like her mother’s cooking. Byleth was right too in that her actions then showed so much care for both him and Flayn. Seteth folded the letter back up with all the care in the world before taking the next one. He knew he had actual work to get to today, but it could wait. He was so focused on this right now, he had to just keep going. Reaching over, Seteth realized he was now holding the last of the letters. He didn’t want this journey to end, but if this was the last one maybe she was able to say what she wanted to in it. Or maybe she never got to it before the letters were lost. Like an ancient treasure, so cherished and so important, he opened the last letter.

> _ Seteth, _
> 
> _ Hello. I’m finally back to trying to write another letter like normal to you. There has been so much going on, I think I might have forgotten the point of all this. I don’t know if it’s good for me to keep pretending to talk to you like this, because I just want to talk to the real you about this all so badly. But I still haven’t gotten to the point of it all. The point being, I need to express these emotions I have for you and I can’t actually get them out, so I need some kind of outlet. Or maybe a way to practice so I can actually tell you? Imagine that! Me, never actually being able to talk to you, until one day I just walk up with all the confidence in the world and confess to you! Well… I can dream right? I don’t think I could ever do that but who knows, maybe practicing like this will motivate me to actually talk to you about this. I still feel scared and embarrassed and nervous to write it down, but I can’t keep running from it anymore. _
> 
> _ Seteth, my dear. The feelings I have been trying for weeks to write down to understand. The things I’ve been trying to write so I can express. The feelings I’ve felt as I’ve written letters trying to confess to an imaginary version of you in my mind have only grown stronger. I have feelings for you. I don’t know what to call it. I hesitate to call it love- only because I’ve barely been able to talk to the real you. Seteth, I care for you so much. I’ve never really felt this kind of love before coming here, only for my father which is so different from how I feel now. Now I feel love for my students, I feel love for where I am, and I feel love for you, I think.  _
> 
> _ I find myself thinking of you often. I’ve dreamed about you. I’ve wanted to touch you. I want to talk to you, to spend time with you, to take care of you, to be closer to you. I want you to trust me. I want to fight side by side with you. I want to learn from you. I want to talk to you about how I feel, not just these feelings for you, but in general. I want to tell you all I can about myself and learn all I can from you. I want to be there for you and Flayn. I want to join you both for dinner, I could make that fish again? I just want to be around you. I want to tell you how happy I am whenever we are together, or how much I’ve enjoyed our talks together. I want talks like that to happen more between us. I want to tell you how much I admire you. I want to tell you how you’ve distracted me in our morning workouts as I’ve longingly watched the way your body moves. Or when you joined us for one of our battles, do you remember? When your shirt ripped open and- Shit- you’re like a priest, am I even allowed to feel those ways toward you? I don’t know, but I do.  _
> 
> _ I want… so much. But mostly I just want to tell you how I feel. I just can’t tell you about it no matter how many times I’ve tried. It used to be that I was scared of you. Now I’m not, now I’m scared of myself and my own feelings. I’m scared of messing it up, I’m scared of my own inexperience with these things, and I’m scared of how strong these new emotions are. Maybe I’m also scared of the rejection? As much as I want these things with you, it feels so foreign, so impossible. I can’t imagine any of it being real. That’s why I write to you, the dream Seteth, and not the real Seteth. _
> 
> _ There’s a part of me now that is scared I may only love the idea of you. The fictional dream Seteth I’ve created in my brain through writing these letters. I don’t think that’s true, but to be safe this is going to be the last letter I write for a while. I need to think by myself about what I feel and… as scary as it is, I need to try and talk to the real you. Even if it isn’t about my feelings, I need to know what is real. Maybe someday I can laugh with the real Seteth as I tell him about these letters I wrote and never sent to him so I could practice telling him how I felt. Maybe.  _
> 
> _ Until I have another thought that I feel so strongly but can’t express, _
> 
> _ \- Yours, Byleth. _

Seteth stared at the letter. So  _ this _ is what she had wanted to say to him Seteth felt the intense pounding of his heart in his chest, he almost felt like he physically could hear that pounding, like a knock at the door. He felt like he wanted to say so much to her, to ask her questions about this, and to know more about what she was thinking and feeling. On one hand he felt like.. Him? Really? How could she feel all of this toward him? He immediately regretted how cold he was to her when they first met. But still despite that she still came to have these feelings for him. 

He couldn’t say his interest hadn’t been piqued by her quite a while ago, and there was no denying how surprisingly welcome feelings like this were from her. He himself hadn’t yet admitted to having an interest in her, so in some ways she was even a few steps farther than he was. He just had grown so used to the way his life had been for hundreds of years now always living the same routine day to day, and not letting himself feel these kinds of feelings for anyone since his late wife. Seteth’s mind raced with so many thoughts and feelings of his own, and so many things he wanted to say to her now that he knew how she felt. He felt the fluttering inside his chest drop to the pit of his stomach when he finally looked up from the letter to see Professor Byleth standing in his doorway, covered in dirt and sweat, a look of horror on her face.

  
  
  


\-----

Byleth had resolved herself to not write another letter to her imaginary dream Seteth. She had to talk more with the real Seteth that was right before her after all. But she could  _ not _ stop thinking about this morning’s training session. The way he was so kind to her, and he approached her and they were able to talk more. At first she thought she was imagining things when she kept catching Seteth staring at her as she practiced with her sword, but maybe her fantasies could be more. Then again, maybe he just wanted to ask her questions. Still, if it meant they could talk more and spend more time together she was happy for it. And she couldn’t deny she liked the feeling of him watching her like that. She felt like she had butterflies in her stomach thinking about it all day and when classes were finally out for the day she decided to let herself write one more letter. 

Except as she reached into her bag the bundle of unsent letters was nowhere to be found.

“Oh... Oh no.” She pulled everything out of the small satchel. She didn’t usually carry much with her so it’s not like it could be buried in there. Maybe she left it in her room? Or in her office? When was the last time she saw them? Byleth full of internal panic that she couldn’t let out, started retracing her steps. She tore her room apart, finding nothing there. Then walking through the monastery paths looking for it on the ground in case she had maybe dropped it on the way. Crawling around on the ground getting dirt all over herself didn’t matter to her anymore. She could deal with dirt, she could NOT deal with anyone reading those letters. 

“Professor? Hey…” A tired voice spoke from behind her. Byleth sat up, turning to see a few students walking by. Lindhardt and Caspar heading to the dining hall after class. She could find some kind of excuse for this. Or maybe… 

“Um… Did either of you happen to see some letters around here?” She asked, trying not to let her embarrassment show. She just dropped some letters, nobody had to know what was in them. Nothing strange about that at all, they were just important to her.

Lindhardt raised an eyebrow, his eyes still looking as tired as ever. “You mean that stack of mail for Seteth I found the other night? I dropped it off for him by his- “ Byleth did not wait to hear the rest. All of the embarrassment, panic, and anxiety felt like it crawled out of her skin all at once, as she abandoned the conversation and ran as fast as she could to Seteth’s office. Goddess, no. It would be embarrassing enough if anyone else read those letters but  _ Seteth? _ No, he couldn’t read those. This couldn’t be happening. She practically felt like she could explode or die or just flat out stop existing.

Out of breath and feeling the littlest bit of sweat on her brow (though she couldn’t tell if it was from the running or the anxiety) Byleth knocked on the door to his office. No answer. Maybe he left for the night. Maybe she could just sneak in there and grab them from his desk. She didn’t bother knocking a second time as she opened the door only to immediately catch eyes with Seteth as he looked up from reading one of her letters. Her eyes were locked with his, unable to look away, but she could tell from the desk around him that there was a stack of already opened and presumably read letters. She felt like she could have puked right in that moment, only slightly calmed by the young girl’s voice in her head.

“Calm down! Just breathe, you don’t know if it’s a bad thing yet!” The goddess scolded, which only seemed to make Byleth struggle to breathe even more. “Okay, Okay!” The voice called out, and Byleth could imagine the tiny goddess shaking her head as she tried a new approach. “Byleth it will be okay, just take a breath in and then let it out…” her voice changed to a much more calming and strangely motherly tone.

“Ah- Professor- I, um…” Seteth started, getting visibly flustered himself at being caught with the letters. “Come in, take a seat.” Byleth couldn’t tell if it was a greeting or a command, and she wished so badly in that moment that Sothis’ powers could turn time back more than a few minutes. She wished she could go back to whenever she lost those letters and stop all of this from happening. Still she listened, closing the door behind her and sitting across from Seteth at his desk. Her wide round eyes stared unblinking at him, like she was afraid to do so much as blink.

\-----

After so long of hiding her emotions it was like she couldn’t hide them at all anymore, and Seteth felt so guilty for reading any further past the first letter. He shouldn’t have done this, he should have returned them when he realized what they were. Seteth felt awkward sitting across from Byleth, he didn’t want to seem like he was scolding her or that she was in trouble at all. He stood up, moving to sit in the other seat next to her.

“Seteth, I can explain!!” the woman practically shouted as she forced the words out. Her big eyes finally blinked, already seeming to well with tears yet to fall when they opened again. Seteth’s eyebrows curled in, quickly moving to Byleth’s side and taking her hands into his. As much as Byleth wrote about wanting to care for and protect him, he felt the overwhelming urge to do the same for her. He hadn’t fully thought through how he would confront Byleth about the letters or go about returning them to her, but he knew something like this was absolutely not how he wanted to do it. 

“Shhh….” Seteth let out a calming coo as he rubbed his thumb in circles against her hand, his other hand moving hesitantly to slide her hair behind her ear. He felt Byleth’s body stiffen at first before cautiously relaxing into the touch, squeezing her eyes shut to try and prevent the tears from falling. The weeks of her yearning for a moment like this was palpable in the air around them. “It’s okay.” He whispered, holding her like this from a distance until her breathing slowed from it’s rapid panicked pace to a more relaxed one. With how much he knew she struggled to even get words out on paper he could only imagine how much was running through her head now that he knew she couldn’t express. 

It took everything in her to finally open her eyes again and lift her head from resting on Seteth’s hand. To finally accept that everything around her was real right now. “You read them?” She eventually spoke up and asked meekly. Seteth only nodded wordlessly, though he didn’t seem upset or even bothered by the contents of the letters. Rather he seemed more concerned. Byleth was confused, because wasn’t this what she wanted the whole time? But she still felt so upset about the whole situation. “All of them?” She asked again. 

“Yes.” Seteth chuckled a little, but more so laughing at the situation than at her in any way. He gave her hand a squeeze before letting it go. The loss of his touch felt cold and Byleth craved more, but only for a moment because Seteth then moved to pull her into a hug. It was awkward at first. Like,  _ incredibly _ awkward. The two of them really had never really touched each other before aside from a hand brushing against each other here and there. They were both stiff and uncomfortable at first, only because they were both so nervous about the situation that had suddenly been thrust upon each of them. 

“My Byleth,” Seteth spoke warmly, thinking back to each time that she had signed her letters as ‘Yours’. Byleth let out a small squeak at that, not only hearing him call her by her name for the first time, but the  _ way _ that he said it. He held her in his arms, and while he knew of her strength and the powerful presence she could have at times, she somehow felt so small. “You have nothing to worry about...” He carefully stroked her hair, feeling out her comfort level with all of this and ready to let her go if needed. “... and thank you. For everything you said in those letters. I can’t even begin to explain how much that all meant to me.” Seteth knew she would have a hard time with talking, so he thought that maybe if he could just reassure her, and tell her honestly how he felt that might help her feel more okay with saying things out loud. And like finally earning the trust of a wounded animal, Seteth felt her hands reach up and cling to the fabric of his clothes. He let her cling onto him for a time before speaking again.

“I want to hear more about what you think, and more about what you feel. I also want to know about your life and spend time with you... And Byleth,” He pulled away just enough to look down at her face. “I also want what you want. All of it.” He spoke directly to her. 

Byleth’s wide eyes sparkled back up at him, struggling to accept this as reality but also knowing just how real this all was. He read her letters, he read her  _ confession _ . All of those thoughts that she never meant to send, but that she wanted him to know so badly. 

“I meant every word of it. I was scared of it for a long time, I couldn’t let myself accept it. I didn’t want it to be real because I was scared. But it is. I love you, Seteth. I don’t know when exactly I started feeling it, but I do. I love you with my whole heart and it is the most powerful thing I have ever felt in my life.” She practiced over and over, rewriting countless letters and practicing as much as she could for this moment. And when the time came, she didn’t feel scared of it anymore. It surprised herself in a way, but she spoke up just like she had hoped for, in a way that seemed so impossible just a few weeks ago. Even just a few days ago this all felt impossible, she even joked about it in the last letter. How strange it would be for her to confidently confess to him. But here she was now, speaking her deepest emotions out loud for the first time. Feeling truly how real she knew they were from the beginning, and no longer feeling ashamed of that. “I love you, Seteth. I love you. I love you.” She kept repeating the phrase, finally feeling the freedom of saying it out loud and expressing the emotion. 

Seteth couldn’t help the smile from growing on his lips, a real true smile that he hadn’t felt from himself in a long time. He was happy that she was saying it, both for her to be able to, and for himself feeling so happy to hear those words come from her. He chuckled as she kept repeating the confession, at just this whole ridiculous situation. Neither of them could have expected this outcome when she began her time here at Garreg Mach. Though he wanted to hear her talk more, he figured now would be a good time to stop her from repeating herself again as he leaned back to close the short distance between them and cutting her words off with a kiss. This time though the awkwardness of their hug was nowhere to be found. Both of them filled with such passion and love melted into the kiss, and it was the once scared Byleth who pushed forward deepening the kiss. 

Finally breaking the kiss apart, they rested their foreheads against each other and Seteth was the first to speak up again. “I love you too, my dear. My Byleth.” He smiled to her, and she returned the smile. 

Byleth never thought her private confession to her imaginary dream Seteth would actually work out. She never thought her wildest dreams and fantasies and desires could actually be real. In a way she had accepted defeat before she had even tried. But she knew now that all it took was for her to speak up, for him to know what she had been thinking and feeling and  _ wanting _ to say to him the whole time.

And Seteth likewise, never could have guessed how much a surprise stack of unsent letters would change his own life, and bring him a new kind of happiness that he hadn’t let himself feel until now.


End file.
